Wanting God vs. Using God
Learning to love Him for who He is, not just for what He does.
Is God what I want—or is God how I get what I want?
That question has been rattling around in my head lately, and honestly, it’s been uncomfortable. It’s one of those questions that digs deeper the more you sit with it.
Do I want God Himself—or do I mainly want what He can do for me?
The Subtle Shift We Miss
If I’m honest, I catch myself slipping into a kind of spiritual transaction:
God, help me preach this sermon well.
God, help me be patient with my kids today.
God, I need wisdom at work.
God, please bless this thing I’m doing.
Now, none of these are bad prayers. They’re good. They’re necessary. Jesus Himself said in John 15:5:
“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”
Apart from Him, I can’t do anything that matters. But here’s the danger: I can start to view God as fuel for my plans rather than the fire that consumes me for His. I can want His power more than His presence, His blessings more than Himself.
It’s subtle, but it’s real. One day I’m walking with Him; the next day I’m using Him.
The Quiet Idolatry of Noble Ambition
When that happens, I’ve slipped into what I can only call quiet idolatry. Not the kind that bows to statues or chases wealth and pleasure, but the kind that dresses up my wants in spiritual language.
I pray, “God, be glorified,” but deep down, I’m hoping that glory looks like my success. I say, “Your will be done,” but I’ve already decided what that will should be.
The first commandment says:
“You shall have no other gods before Me.” (Exodus 20:3)
But when I make God serve my goals—even good, Christian, noble goals—I’m swapping places with Him. I’m not His servant anymore. I’m asking Him to be mine.
Jesus Didn’t Use the Father
Think about Jesus. Over and over in the Gospels, we see Him slipping away to lonely places to pray. Not only because He needed to “refuel” for the next teaching and miracle tour, but because He loved His Father.
When He prayed in Gethsemane, His words weren’t, “Father, help me succeed.” They were:
“Not my will, but Yours be done” (Luke 22:42).
Even in His anguish, Jesus wasn’t using the Father—He was submitting to Him.
A Hard but Holy Question
So here’s the question I’ve been sitting with:
If God never answered another prayer the way I wanted—if He didn’t fix the problem, heal the hurt, or move the mountain—would He still be enough for me?
Would I still worship Him if He said no? Would I still love Him if nothing changed? Would His presence alone satisfy my soul?
This is where the rubber meets the road. Because if God is just a means to my end—even my good end—He’s not truly God in my heart. I am.
Learning to Want God
Here’s the prayer I’ve been returning to:
Lord, I don’t want to use You. I want to know You. Teach me to love You for who You are, not just for what You do.
It’s slow work, but I’m learning that wanting God starts with simply being with Him. Not asking, not fixing, not striving. Just being.
Psalm 73:25 says it so well:
“Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You.”
That’s the kind of heart I want. Not because I don’t need His help—I absolutely do—but because His help isn’t the prize. He is.
On the Porch Today
So today, I’m laying down my spiritual to-do list. I’m asking Him to realign my heart.
Because apart from Him, I am nothing. But in Him—even if nothing else changes—I have everything.
Maybe you need that prayer too.
🪑 Porchside Update
This past weekend I turned 40! I had a great time celebrating with friends and family and my congregation. A friend said they hoped that God continued using me in my middle age… While a deeply apprecaite that sentiment, I might have suggested different phrasing!
Last night at Bethany Church we had our second Summer Shine Night, where we talked about having courage. While David and Golaith might be thought by some to be a children’s story, the message of trusting God when we encounter obstacles is one that ALL of us need reminded of.
And hey! We just crossed 3,500 total views on The Pastor’s Porch! Thank you for reading, sharing, and pulling up a chair here each week. You’re helping build a small but meaningful corner of the internet where we slow down, breathe deep, and seek Jesus together.
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One Last Thing, I Promise…
Don’t forget today that God loves you. He sent His Son to live, die, and rise again, that you might have eternal life, for His glory. And Jesus promises to be with you today.
Grace & Peace—
Pastor Adam Will